Real Men...

So it would seem that a certain person I know thinks that in order to be a "Real Man," you need to do certain things. Well I'm sorry, I might agree with you on certain things, but I must not agree with you with others. Here is my list of those things I think make me a "Real Man."

I do a lot of things that might not be approved as being something a "Real Man" does, but I would have to say that it is OK. I am not out to impress anyone. Let me give you a hundred examples. I eat, sleep, shit and piss, I walk and talk, snore, hiccup when ever, cough like a sneeze and pick my nose in the car. I love cooking dinner but hate clean up afterwards. I would do my laundry if my wife didn't do it first. I play with my cats, hang with my rats, hate the dog that is now in the house, but would walk it if i had to. I collect toys, stamps sports cards, nic nacs, coins rocks and shot glasses. I play video games, watch Law and Order, read books even Harry Potter. I love to walk the beach while the sun is setting, love walking the beach while the sun is coming up. Have I done either of those things? NO, but I would. I take pictures of flowers, tried to grow some but they died. I listen to love songs, including Barry White and Boyz II Men. I write many emails, text messages, and most of the time they include :) ;) :P and sometimes :-D. I wear sandals and I write like a girl, i write poems about, and to a girl, fantasize about dressing like a girl. (Umm wait! Did I just write that? Scratch that!) I travel with a Boxing Buddy, chap stick, a first-aid kit. My car has bumper stickers, rally lights on the front, and a bobble head doll. Justin Timberlake is in my CD player in the car TOTALLY bringing sexy back! I like to shop for things that I don't need, need things I don't shop for, and just ask for them all at Christmas time. When I get sick, I don't complain. I complain because I hate my job, complain because I haven't missed a day of work in 4 years, complain because I wish I was making enough money to quit and find a better job. I could talk your ear off for hours, on the phone, online, or even through a letter. I like pastel colors. Frankly, they look better on my wife.

You know, when I was born, I had a twig and 2 berries just like every other "Real Man" that will read this. And just like every "Real Man" that doesn't. So just in case you didn't already know,
Guns don't make "Real Men!"
Roller coasters don't make "Real Men!"
Loving your country doen't make you a "Real Man!"
-But it would save you from getting your ass beat!

But to be more serious for a moment, I have been brought down to earth many times by some people that want to make me look less of a "Real Man." I have been accused of abuse of every kind known to man or women. Physical, sexual, verbal abuse, all accused upon me. What makes me a "Real Man?" A "Real Man" fights for what is right. He fights to be heard, to be known, to be strong, to be better then those who try to bring him down on his brightest day. Abuse is nothing to consider funny by any means. I would never hurt a women or child as I have been accused of. I might not look like a "Real Man" on the outside because I don't have big muscles or a good looking face, or a personality that would rock any ones world, but my Wife thinks so. She knows who I am. She married me almost a year ago. She knew what she was getting into. And NOT ONCE have I hurt her. NOT ONCE have I beat her, yelled at her, sexually mishandled her. Why?

Because I am a "Real Man."

So before you go running your mouth about what makes a "Real Man," maybe you should go look out the window and notice that any man, big or small, white or baby blue, could be a "Real Man." Not just you!